I have some interests that I didn’t have before.
- I want to learn how to sew well
- I want to be able to build things
Well, I guess I’ve always had a vague interest in carpentry, but never enough to actually start a project. I’m still toying with what I want my first project to be, so stay tuned there. In adventures of sewing, the first thing I intend to tackle is reupholstering my glider! I have a glider from when Freddy was a tiny nug that works perfectly fine, but the cushions are stained and I just don’t find it aesthetically pleasing anymore. I’ve already begun by taking the chair apart and painting it white. Now I’m searching for fabric. The struggle is extremely real, because the cutest fabrics that I adore are also like $15-$19 a yard, and I’m not about that life. I’m probably going to mostly follow along with this tutorial, even though our gliders are slightly different.
This pregnancy has me far more exhausted than my first one ever did. I find myself debating the energy cost of running an errand many times a day. Most of the time, it’s enough just to spend the daytime chasing Freddy around and the evening at work. By the time I get to the weekend I’m a True Zombie. I’m trying to get out and do things despite that, though.
I went to a WIC appointment last week, and the lady told me I was gaining weight too quickly, and condescendingly said, “You know, there are a lot of parks in Minnesota! Do you think you could be active with Freddy and maybe take him to one?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to punch her or cry, but I’m only offended because I was already insecure about my body. It is what it is. I did work out today (hooray me!), and I’ve made a pact with myself to not eat after 9pm. I know what I want to feel like and look like, and what I should eat like, but Lord mercy if I am not digging in my heels every inch of the way. It’s either commit or continue to feel like shit. That’s it. No other options.
Something in my soul was rising, rising, ceaselessly, painfully, and refused to be still.
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Searching for Myself 