July Goals and Affirmations

“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.” — Anaïs Nin

Things are changing rapidly in my life, and it is a little hard to keep up with. But, it is exciting.

Goals:

• Finish painting the kitchen
• Paint the living room
• Clean out upstairs closet and use for baby things
• Be more giving of my time to my friendships and in general – practice the law of Giving and Receiving

Affirmations:

• My body is healthy and supports me in every way
• Breastfeeding will help me to lose weight postpartum
• My family has the funds it needs in excess
• The career life I desire, whether or not I can clearly envision it, is on the way in perfect timing and will be the perfect fit for me
• I am a patient and present mother

Things to remember:

• Everyone you meet is doing their best, and the overwhelming majority has good intentions
• Focus more on what is good than what is unresolved or not ideal  – and lots of things are good
• For those I have had conflict with, I will consciously hold them in a good mental space each day and continuously wish them well

I am trying to figure out my career path, because if any of you know me, you know I have a very difficult time releasing control in totality. So I have to do SOMEthing. For those who are curious, here is a non-exhaustive list of my interests:

• Musician
• Actor
• Photographer
• Doula
• Wedding planner
• Virtual assistant
• Writer/blogger
• Run an air B&B
• Healer
• Unity pastor
• Life coach
• Counselor
• Non-profit work
• Playwright
• Director

For a long while, I was restricting myself by thinking whatever I did would have to all tie together in one neat little business package, but I have since released that thinking. I’m pretty sure the a la carte or build-a-career route is far more my style.

Until next time, cheers!

Re-evaluations.

I have some interests that I didn’t have before.

• I want to learn how to sew well
• I want to be able to build things

Well, I guess I’ve always had a vague interest in carpentry, but never enough to actually start a project. I’m still toying with what I want my first project to be, so stay tuned there. In adventures of sewing, the first thing I intend to tackle is reupholstering my glider! I have a glider from when Freddy was a tiny nug that works perfectly fine, but the cushions are stained and I just don’t find it aesthetically pleasing anymore. I’ve already begun by taking the chair apart and painting it white. Now I’m searching for fabric. The struggle is extremely real, because the cutest fabrics that I adore are also like $15-$19 a yard, and I’m not about that life. I’m probably going to mostly follow along with this tutorial, even though our gliders are slightly different.

This pregnancy has me far more exhausted than my first one ever did. I find myself debating the energy cost of running an errand many times a day. Most of the time, it’s enough just to spend the daytime chasing Freddy around and the evening at work. By the time I get to the weekend I’m a True Zombie. I’m trying to get out and do things despite that, though.

I went to a WIC appointment last week, and the lady told me I was gaining weight too quickly, and condescendingly said, “You know, there are a lot of parks in Minnesota! Do you think you could be active with Freddy and maybe take him to one?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to punch her or cry, but I’m only offended because I was already insecure about my body. It is what it is. I did work out today (hooray me!), and I’ve made a pact with myself to not eat after 9pm. I know what I want to feel like and look like, and what I should eat like, but Lord mercy if I am not digging in my heels every inch of the way. It’s either commit or continue to feel like shit. That’s it. No other options.

Something in my soul was rising, rising, ceaselessly, painfully, and refused to be still.

—	Fyodor Dostoyevsky